The Humour Page

Why ?

• Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive?

• Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?

• Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?

• Why are there flotation devices under plane seats instead of parachutes?

• Why are cigarettes sold in gas stations when smoking is prohibited there?

• Do you need a silencer if you are going to shoot a mime?

• Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?

• How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?

• If 7-11 is open 24 hours a day, 365 days a year, why are there locks on the doors?

• If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?

• If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to the pan?

• If you tied buttered toast to the back of a cat and dropped it from a height, what would happen?

• If you're in a vehicle going the speed of light, what happens when you turn on the headlights?

• You know how most packages say "Open here". What is the protocol if the package says, "Open somewhere else"?

• Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of the drive-up ATM?

• Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?

• Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it's called cargo?

• You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes, why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance?

• Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?

• How come wrong numbers are never busy?

• Do people in Australia call the rest of the world "up over"?

• Does that screwdriver belong to Philip?

• Can a stupid person be a smart-ass?

• Does killing time damage eternity?

• Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

• Why is it called lipstick if you can still move your lips?

• Why is it that night falls but day breaks?

• Why is the third hand on the watch called a second hand?

• Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?

• Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?

• Are part-time bandleaders semi-conductors?

• Can you buy an entire chess set in a pawn shop?

• Daylight savings time - why are they saving it and where do they keep it?

• Did Noah keep his bees in archives?

• Do jellyfish get gas from eating jellybeans?

• Do pilots take crash-courses?

• Do stars clean themselves with meteor showers?

• Do you think that when they asked George Washington for ID that he just whipped out a quarter?

• Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?

• Have you ever seen a toad on a toadstool?

• How can there be self-help "groups"?

• How do you get off a non-stop flight?

• How do you write zero in Roman numerals?

• How many weeks are there in a light year?

• If a jogger runs at the speed of sound, can he still hear his Walkman?

• If athletes get athlete's foot, do astronauts get mistletoe?

• If Barbie's so popular, why do you have to buy all her friends?

• If blind people wear dark glasses, why don't deaf people wear earmuffs?

• If cats and dogs didn't have fur would we still pet them?

• If peanut butter cookies are made from peanut butter, then what are Girl Scout cookies made out of?

• If space is a vacuum, who changes the bags?

• If swimming is good for your shape, then why do the whales look the way they do?

• If tin whistles are made out of tin, what do they make fog horns out of?

• If white wine goes with fish, do white grapes go with sushi?

• If you can't drink and drive, why do bars have parking lots?

• If you jog backwards, will you gain weight?

• If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?

• Why do the signs that say "Slow Children" have a picture of a running child?

• Why do they call it "chili" if it's hot?

• Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game, when we are already there?

• Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?

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