You can't be a real
country unless you have a beer and an airline - it helps if you
have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but
at the very least you need a beer. - Frank Zappa
Always do sober
what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your
mouth shut. - Ernest Hemmingway
Always remember
that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out
of me. - Winston Churchill
He was a wise man
who invented beer. - Plato
Time is never
wasted when you're wasted all the time. - Catherine Zandonella
Sir, if you were my
husband, I would poison your drink. - Lady Astor to Winston Churchill
Madam, if you were
my wife, I would drink it. - Winston Churchill's reply
Sir, you are drunk. - Lady Astor to Winston Churchill.
Yes, and you,
madam, are ugly, but in the morning I shall be sober. - Winston Churchill's reply
If God had intended
us to drink beer, He would have given us stomachs. - David Daye
Work is the curse
of the drinking class. - Oscar Wilde
When I read about
the evils of drinking, I gave up reading. - Henny Youngman
Beer is proof that
God loves us and wants us to be happy. - Benjamin Franklin
If you ever reach
total enlightenment while drinking beer, I bet it makes beer
shoot out your nose. - Deep Thought, Jack Handy
Without question,
the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I
grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel
does not go nearly as well with pizza. - Dave Barry
The problem with
the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind. - Humphrey Bogart
People who drink
light "beer" don't like the taste of beer; they just
like to pee a lot. - Capital Brewery, Middleton, WI
Give me a woman who
loves beer and I will conquer the world. - Kaiser Wilhelm
I would kill everyone in this room for a drop of sweet beer. - Homer Simpson
Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for
example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer. - Dave Barry
I drink to make other people interesting. - George Jean Nathan
They who drink beer will think beer. - Washington Irving
An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with fools. - For Whom the Bell Tolls, Ernest Hemmingway
You're not drunk if
you can lie on the floor without holding on. - Dean Martin
All right, brain, I don't like you and you don't like me - so let's just do this and
I'll get back to killing you with beer. - Homer Simpson
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