Extracts from CVs / Resumes and Covering Letters

These extracts are taken from real CVs ( Resumes ) and covering letters and were printed in the July 21, 1997 issue of Fortune Magazine.

 1. "I have lurnt Word Perfect 6.0 computor and spreasheet progroms."
 2. "Am a perfectionist and rarely if if ever forget details."
 3. "Received a plague for Salesperson of the Year."
 4. "Wholly responsible for two (2) failed financial institutions."
 5. "Reason for leaving last job: maturity leave."
 6. "Failed bar exam with relatively high grades."
 7. "It's best for employers that I not work with people."
 8. "Let's meet , so you can 'ooh' and 'aah' over my experience."
 9. "I was working for my mom until she decided to move."
10. "Marital status: single. Unmarried. Unengaged. Uninvolved. No commitments."
11. "I have an excellent track record, although I am not a horse."
12. "I am loyal to my employer at all costs. Please feel free to respond to my resume on my office voicemail."
13. "My goal is to be a meteorologist. But since I possess no training in meteorology, I suppose I should try stock brokerage"
14. "I procrastinate, especially when the task is unpleasant."
15. "Personal interests: donating blood. Fourteen gallons so far."
16. "Instrumental in ruining entire operation for a Midwest chain store."
17. "Note: Please don't misconstrue my 14 jobs as 'job-hopping'. I have never quit a job."
18. "Marital status: often. Children: various."
19. "The company made me a scapegoat, just like my three previous employers."
20. "Finished eighth in my class of ten."
21. "References: none. I've left a path of destruction behind me."

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