How to write Gooder ... Better

1. Allways use a spel cheker.
2. Avoid long complex sentences which go on and on without using any punctuation to break up the long sentences as this can lead to confusion as people read your text
3. Avoid cliches like the plague. (They're old hat.) (You mark my words)
4. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
5. Employ the vernacular.
6. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
7. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary (and unwanted).
8. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
9. Contractions aren't necessary.
10. Avoid alliteration. Always.
11. Foreign words and phrases are not apropos.
12. Eliminate quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "I hate quotations. Tell me what you know."
13. Comparisons are as bad as cliches.
14. One should never generalize.
15. Don't be redundant; don't use more words than necessary; it's highly superfluous.
16. Be more or less specific.
17. One-word sentences? Eliminate.
18. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
19. The passive voice is to be avoided.
20. Go around the barn at high noon to avoid colloquialisms.
21. Even if a mixed metaphor sings, it should be derailed.
22. Exaggeration is a million times worse than understatement.
23. Who needs rhetorical questions?
24. Understatement is always best.

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