How To Keep A Healthy Level of insanity and Drive other People insane

1) At lunchtime, sit in your parked car and point a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.

2) Page yourself over the intercom. (Don't disguise your voice.)

3) Insist that your e mail address be:'xena-goddess-of-fire@companyname.com' or 'Elvis-the-king@companyname.com'

4) Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

5) Encourage your colleagues to join you in a little synchronised chair dancing

6) Put your waste bin on your desk and label it 'IN.'

7) Develop an unnatural fear of staplers.

8) Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks.Once everyone has gotten overtheir caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.

9) Reply to everything someone says with a sneering"That's what you think."

10) Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the prophecy."

11) Adjust the tint on your monitor so that the brightness levellights up the entire working area. Insist to others that you like it thatway.

12) Don't use any punctuation

13) As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

14) Ask people what sex they are.

15) Specify that your drive through order is "to go."

16) Sing along at the opera.

17) Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.

18) Find out where your boss shops and buy exactly the same outfits. Wear them one day after your boss does. (This is especially effective if your boss is the opposite gender.)

19) Send e-mail to the rest of the company to tell them whatyou're doing. For example: "If anyone needs me, I'll be in the bathroom."

20) Put mosquito netting around your cubicle.

21) Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their,party 'cause you're not in the mood.

22) Leave the photocopier set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17" paper, 99 copies.

23) If you have a glass eye, tap on it with your pen while talking to others.

24) Insist on keeping your car windscreen wipers running in all weather conditions 'to keep them tuned up'.

25) Highlight irrelevant material in scientific papers and 'cc' them to your boss.

26) Disassemble your pen and 'accidentally' shoot the cartridge across the room.

27) Shout random numbers while someone is counting.

28) Staple papers in the middle of the page.

29) Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints by the till.

30) TYPE ONLY IN UPPERCASE or iN a ComBinAtIon of UpPeR and lOWerCAsE ChaRACtErS.

31) Try playing the William Tell Overture (the Lone Ranger theme tune) by tapping on the bottom of your chin or your teeth with a pen or your nails. Just before the end, announce: "No, wait, I messed it up," and repeat again and again.

32) While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.

33) Use the word " like " over and over every 3-4 words. For Example ; ".. and like, he was like - in the car like, and so drunk that like, he couldn't even like get out of it !"

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