Are you a courtroom drama fan, then you will love these classic court room quotes which were recorded during trials in the past 10 years.
LAWYER: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
LAWYER: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
LAWYER: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.
LAWYER: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
WITNESS: No.
LAWYER: Did you check for blood pressure?
WITNESS: No.
LAWYER: Did you check for breathing?
WITNESS: No.
LAWYER: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
WITNESS: No.
LAWYER: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
LAWYER: But could the patient have still been alive nevertheless?
WITNESS: It is possible that he could have been alive and practising law somewhere.
LAWYER: What is your date of birth?
WITNESS: July fifteenth.
LAWYER: What year?
WITNESS: Every year.
LAWYER: What gear were you in at the moment of the impact?
WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
LAWYER: This myasthenia gravis-does it affect your memory at all?
WITNESS: Yes.
LAWYER: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
WITNESS: I forget.
LAWYER: You forget. Can you give us an example of something that you've forgotten?
LAWYER: How was your first marriage terminated?
WITNESS: By death.
LAWYER: And by whose death was it terminated?
LAWYER: You were not shot in the fracas?
WITNESS: No, I was shot midway between the fracas and the navel.
LAWYER: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
LAWYER: The youngest son, the twenty-year old, how old is he?
LAWYER: Were you present when your picture was taken?
LAWYER: Do you know if your daughter has ever been involved in the voodoo or occult?
WITNESS: We both do.
LAWYER: Voodoo?
WITNESS: We do.
LAWYER: You do?
WITNESS: Yes, voodoo.
LAWYER: Did you blow your horn or anything?
WITNESS: After the accident ?
LAWYER: Before the accident.
WITNESS: Sure, I played for ten years. I even went to school for it.
LAWYER: You were there until the time you left, is that true?
LAWYER: Sir, what is your IQ?
WITNESS: Well, I can see pretty well, I think.
LAWYER: Trooper, when you stopped the defendant, were your red and blue lights flashing?
WITNESS: Yes.
LAWYER: Did the defendant say anything when she got out of her car?
WITNESS: Yes, sir.
LAWYER: What did she say?
WITNESS: What disco am I at?
LAWYER: So the date of conception (of the baby) was August 8th?
WITNESS: Yes.
LAWYER: And what were you doing at that time?
LAWYER: How far apart were the vehicles at the time of the collision?
LAWYER: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
LAWYER: What did the tissue samples taken from
the victim's vagina show?
WITNESS: There were traces of semen.
LAWYER: Male semen?
WITNESS: That's the only kind I know of.
LAWYER: How many times have you committed suicide?
LAWYER: She had three children, right?
WITNESS: Yes.
LAWYER: How many were boys?
WITNESS: None.
LAWYER: Were there any girls?
LAWYER: You say the stairs went down to the basement?
WITNESS: Yes.
LAWYER: And these stairs, did they go up also?
LAWYER: All your responses must be oral, OK?
What school did you go to?
WITNESS: Oral.
LAWYER: Did you ever sleep with him in New York?
WITNESS: I refuse to answer that question.
LAWYER: Did you ever sleep with him in Chicago?
WITNESS: I refuse to answer that question.
LAWYER: Did you ever sleep with him in Miami?
WITNESS: No.
LAWYER: Mr. Slatery, you went on a rather elaborate honeymoon, didn't you?
WITNESS: I went to Europe, Sir.
LAWYER: And you took your new wife?
LAWYER: Can you describe the individual?
WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.
LAWYER: Was this a male, or a female?
CLERK: Please repeat after me: "I swear by Almighty God..."
WITNESS: "I swear by Almighty God."
CLERK: "That the evidence that I give..."
WITNESS: That's right.
CLERK: Repeat it.
WITNESS: "Repeat it".
CLERK: No! Repeat what I said.
WITNESS: What you said when?
CLERK: "That the evidence that I give..."
WITNESS: "That the evidence that I give."
CLERK: "Shall be the truth and..."
WITNESS: It will, and nothing but the truth!
CLERK: Please, just repeat after me: "Shall be the truth
and..."
WITNESS: I'm not a scholar, you know.
CLERK: We can appreciate that. Just repeat after me: "Shall
be the truth and..."
WITNESS: "Shall be the truth and."
CLERK: Say: "Nothing...".
WITNESS: Okay.(Witness remains silent.)
CLERK: No! Don't say nothing. Say: "Nothing but the
truth..."
WITNESS: Yes.
CLERK: Can't you say: "Nothing but the truth..."?
WITNESS: Yes.
CLERK: Well? Do so.
WITNESS: You're confusing me.
CLERK: Just say: "Nothing but the truth...".
WITNESS: Is that all?
CLERK: Yes.
WITNESS: Okay. I understand.
CLERK: Then say it.
WITNESS: What?
CLERK: "Nothing but the truth..."
WITNESS: But I do! That's just it.
CLERK: You must say: "Nothing but the truth..."
WITNESS: I WILL say nothing but the truth!
CLERK: Please, just repeat these four words: "Nothing",
"But","The","Truth".
WITNESS: What? You mean, like, now?
CLERK: Now. Please. Just say those four words.
WITNESS: "Nothing. But. The. Truth."
CLERK: Thank you.
WITNESS: I'm just not a scholar.
LAWYER: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
LAWYER: Did he kill you?
LAWYER: How old is your son-the one living with you.
WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember which.
LAWYER: How long has he lived with you?
WITNESS: Forty-five years.
LAWYER: Was it you or your younger brother who was killed in the war?
LAWYER: And where was the location of the accident?
WITNESS: Approximately milepost 499.
LAWYER: And where is milepost 499?
WITNESS: Probably between milepost 498 and 500.
LAWYER: What was the first thing your husband said to you when he
woke that morning?
WITNESS: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
LAWYER: And why did that upset you?
WITNESS: My name is Susan.
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